One of the many disadvantages of having too much time on my hands, is being aware of every single thing that happens on my Facebook feed. That is how this morning I stumbled upon a link shared by one of my (female) friends with another (female) friend, and the latter making a comment about there being instances where emancipation is not desirable. I frowned. I pondered. And I clicked the link.
It lead me to an article titled “Why Chivalry Is Dead, From A Man’s Perspective“. Now I am loath to be the raging feminist, but WHAT, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AN HOLY, IS THIS. The author, one John Picciuto, is of the opinion that the old values he was taught when it came to wooing women, should not have been forgotten.
What happened to paying for dinners and drinks? What happened to pulling out chairs and holding doors? What happened to walking on the outside, closest to the street and all that sh*t? Where did we lose the chivalrous touch? When did it become acceptable to just text a girl, inviting her to come bang?
Ah, yes. Those were the good old days when a woman would allow a man to belittle her, take the smallest matter out of her soft, well-manicured hands, and protect her as if she were a child. Nowadays all people ever do is text and bang.
I go back and forth in my mind between the two options Picciuto offers, and I’m not sure which I would consider the lesser of two evils. Sure, it sounds nice to have dinner with a man who is willing to pay for it AND protect me from passing traffic. But at least with a simple sexual invitation, announcing itself with a subtle bleep from my phone, I would have a choice. I could say no.
Mister Picciuto. John. Have you considered that your ‘chivalry’ may not be welcome? That I may be perfectly able to pull out my own chair, and prefer it that way? That what you see as gentlemanly attentions may feel more like the reflection of a patronising, backwards view of how men and women should interact? But I see that you’ve already come across some women quite uninterested in your old-fashioned (your words, not mine) advances.
The real problem here is that women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum. We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers. […]
Eventually, I feel that women will wise up and start asking for the things that they deserve, the things used to be automatic and expected of men, like holding a door, pulling out a chair, and paying for dinners. Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum and receiving what we ultimately want anyway – sex.
I apologise. We – I speak for womankind, since you apparently represent men in general too – seem to have been unclear. We’d love to get your flowers. We do love chocolates, and we won’t say no if you offer them. But let us put on our own coats, pay for dinner, make our own decisions about whether we would prefer a dinner by candlelight or a straight-forward text-and-bang. Also, don’t tell us to wise up. We will have sex when we want to, not when you’ve reached your quota of gallantry. We will be sure to let you know when that is.